#Littlegirlsdeservebetter

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A warm welcome to today’s very special post from my smiling moon beam face! I woke up this morning and four words came to the front of my mind: Little Girls Deserve Better. For those who have been following my blog a while you will know I am a self love activist who wants young girls to grow up with more genuine and diverse role models in their lives. I want to be the change that I want to see on this planet! So, I decided to launch the campaign #littlegirlsdeservebetter.

I’ve not always liked my skin and I certainly did struggle with acne until my early twenties. It took a complete knock out of my confidence, I was bullied at school for my imperfect looks and for not quite fitting in with my peers. But this isn’t about me; you don’t need to hear my sob story because the past will not change the future.

Little girls growing up today deserve better than what we were sold when we were younger. They do not need to see very real and natural bodies being slated on the covers of magazines for having a tiny midriff or some cellulite hugging their thighs. They need to see REAL women standing up and sharing something that they want little girls to know.

I’ll start…

“Little girls deserve better. Magazines shouldn’t make them feel bad for having imperfect skin. Little girls should be running around and having fun with their friends and not worrying about the pimples that are on their faces. They should not have to beg their mothers to buy them make up to wear to school because others are being unkind towards their looks. You are beautiful. You do not need to cover your natural beauty. Spots are so normal! Yet we are told they are ugly and something that needs to be fixed. You are young. Go out into the world and be who you want to be regardless of your skin. Focus your energy reading books, studying hard at school, playing with your friends, baking cakes. Do whatever makes you happy and never stop doing it because of a few marks on your skin. You are a goddess and always worthy.”

Be the change that you want to see.

Today I urge other women and men to join me in this campaign. I want it to stretch the globe because little girls everywhere need to hear your message. I want little girls to love the skin they’re in. What do you want for them? What do you believe they deserve? It can be anything that resonates with you. It can be body positivity related; you might think they deserve a more eco friendly planet; you might want them to know their unique fashion sense is special and valued. You might want them to know that having a boyfriend doesn’t make them whole and their independence should be celebrated! Whatever it may be, post a picture and share with the #littlegirlsdeservebetter then tag three friends to send the message out further.

I can’t wait to read all your wonderful stories. I want this to make a difference and even make one young girl proud of herself because she is beautiful on the inside and out.

Three Life Lessons That Have Made The Greatest Impact On My Life

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My dad has always told me, “we celebrate our successes and learn from our failures,” we never grow if we don’t stop and take time to reflect on the good and bad in whatever we have done. I’ve talked a lot about my recent mental health struggles. However, on reflection without the struggle there are so many things I wouldn’t have learned, which in turn have made me a much stronger woman today.

This week I want to share with you three life lessons which have made the greatest impact on me and are things I try and implement into every single day to develop me further as a person. These three things allow me to regularly check in and reevaluate where I’m at or how I am reacting to a situation and readjust my behaviour for a more favourable outcome. I’m not always perfect, I react in old negative habits sometimes but having a greater understanding of myself allows this behaviour to be less frequent and less futile to myself or my relationships.

Invest in yourself first

Let me ask you a question, how is anyone meant to help you with your low self-esteem/ self confidence/ mental health/ physical health ect if you won’t even do it yourself? Do whatever you can at whatever cost to look after number one (that’s you by the way) before anyone else. For me, it was seeking the counselling that I so desperately needed and working through my own hang ups in order to make progress. By taking the counselling I then further branched out into reading more by different specialists, working with a self empowerment coach and broadening my knowledge and learning about my behavioural patterns more and more in order to stop the bad behaviour from continuing. I still do this every damn day. Pick up a book, watch a TED Talk, read a psychology paper, meditate. Making the time to learn how to like yourself will not only better your relationship with yourself, with your friends and family, your colleagues, everyone who you reach on a daily basis will benefit. What you are putting out into the world will come back to you. I used to tell myself the story that I wasn’t worthy of being loved and I could only attract the wrong type of guy- so guess what? That’s exactly what I got. But when I started loving myself and having higher expectations of myself and others I attracted a fantastic man into my life who I love dearly. So, be careful what stories you tell, they will impact your life until you change them.

Do that project you think you can’t manage

That dream job/ project you’re always thinking about doing but never actually do anything about is only a dream because you’re not bringing it into reality. I never ever expected to be teaching yoga until it actually started to happen. I always day dreamed about doing it one day when the time was right and to be honest there never is a right time. I jumped straight in when my mental health was at it’s worst because I needed something to focus on and to keep me going. That has since launched into a small business I run alongside my day job. I’m also about to move from Scotland to England to begin a graduate scheme in digital marketing and I’m terrified of moving so far away from my friends, family and boyfriend, but it’s an experience I’ll learn so much from.

Do the thing you’re too scared to do. If you fail or find out it wasn’t for you then at least you can tick it off the list and learn so many different things from it. When I paid for my teacher training course I was worried that I might not even enjoy teaching at the end of it. But now I’m actually doing it I know how much joy it brings me and I learn from the different challenges I face every week and I thrive off building my own business and paying myself at the end of the month. If you never work on your own dreams you’ll end up working on someone else’s for them. Remember that.

Tell people you love them every single day

People are scared to put their heart’s on their sleeves these days. We are the generation who plays games when dating someone new and always has to have the upper hand keeping our heart’s closed off so they can’t see when they’ve hurt us. How are you meant to find a lasting, trustworthy relationship on those grounds. If you love someone tell them. Say it even if they don’t say it back and don’t close off when you don’t get the response you were maybe hoping for. I’ve learned that I would much rather put my all into a relationship; tell them I love them and talk about the future and have it all end than never be real, open and raw with someone. At least if it were all to finish you could walk away knowing that you gave it your everything and aren’t left wishing you had said or done things differently. Oh and tell your family it too, every single day because they’re equally as important.

Reflecting is a funny thing. It brings out all kinds of emotions in me but I love it all the same. Reflecting on the good allows me to be proud of how far I’ve come in life and reflecting on the not so great teaches me some of my greatest life lessons. Learn how to catch negatives and spin them into positives, whatever the situation you may be in.

Until Next Time,

XO

Three Tips To Accept Your Body Exactly How It Is

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The first time I saw this image, I winced. I told myself that I really needed to start working out again and there was no way I was going to share this photo online. However, only a short while later, once I had let my ego stop controlling how I viewed myself, I laughed at how irrational I was being.

The body positivity movement is gaining huge traction across the world yet we’re still being sold a message by the media that we’re not good enough. I can’t wait for the day when a row of completely different women can stand together in an advertisement campaign and it’s not seen as ‘out the box’ or a publicity stunt. Quite frankly, there are so many young and inspiring women who I really wish had been around when I was growing up to show me what real, unfiltered beauty looks like. But, I was a child of the 90s, when models were starving themselves in order to get jobs in the industry and carbs were the enemy. Magazines were full of the same skinny looking blonde girls promoting weight loss diets to us and celebs were shamed on the covers of magazines for an ounce of cellulite or even the hint of a midriff.

No wonder loving my body is a battle every day. I promote body positivity online and in real life because I want little girls to grow up with a more natural idea of what beauty is. But, it’s hard. I get caught up in the negative self talk and struggle to see my own beauty sometimes. However, after working alongside a female empowerment coach- Bek Williams (Check out her Instagram @itsbekwilliams if you want to work with her) she is truly amazing. Bek gave me the tools in order to help with the negative self talk and appreciate my body for all it has to offer me every day.

Tip 1: Positive Affirmations 

This isn’t as woo woo as it sounds. If we talk to ourselves negatively we begin to believe the words we are telling ourselves. I’ve been telling myself for years that my body isn’t good enough, it needs to be more toned and I won’t be lovable with this shape. I’ve told myself this story for so long its become exactly how I see myself. So, flip it. If I say kind words to myself every single day then eventually I’ll begin to realise it’s the truth. I began with “I am enough,” I wrote it on my mirror, set reminders on my phone, made these three words my lock screen so I was exposed to it over and over again throughout the day. And you know what, even after a week, I began to feel better about myself. Next we added in different affirmations which resonated with me and I work with these regularly to help block out the nasty voice inside me.

Tip 2: Talk to yourself like you would to your best friend

If your friend came to you calling herself “fat, ugly, unworthy and unlovable in her own body” I would hope that you wouldn’t tell her that she is and make her feel worse. If you do then maybe I’m not the blogger for you to be reading to be honest. So, why do you say these things to yourself? When you catch yourself saying unkind things to yourself STOP. Take a minute to either rephrase what you actually mean or don’t speak entirely. For example, you may say, “I’m so fat today,” when you actually mean “I’ve eaten loads of junk food today which has made me feel slow and sluggish.” Can you see how different those two things are? The first one is personally attacking your body, and the second is understanding that the food you’ve been eating is making you feel a little outta whack. But, it’s also OK to eat the cake and pizza by the way; remember everything in moderation.

Tip 3: Make working out fun and not a chore

I enjoy moving my body in different forms of exercise. However, I have had to learn when it is OK not to workout if I feel too tired to move. Work out with friends, try a new sport, go for a walk with your mum and put the world to right again. These are all forms of exercise. Don’t work out to a specific amount of time, sometimes I do a 25 minute workout and if I feel like I can do more I keep going. If I feel finished after the 25 minutes I stop for the day and accept that’s where my energy levels are at. Exercise is important for your health but when it begins feeling that it’s a chore and something you MUST DO you’re not engaging in a healthy¬† relationship.

So, I’m trying to embrace my body exactly how it is. It’s never going to be ‘perfect’ but it gets up every day and goes to work and allows me to practice yoga or swing so high I can touch the tree branches when I’m on a swing with my best friend. My body is great just as it is and I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to treat her kindly and with grace. I hope this post has resonated with some and these simple steps can be as beneficial to you as they have been to me.

Until Next Time,

xo

 

 

 

How To Get ‘Beach Body’ Ready Without Even Hitting The Gym

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Gotcha! You might be thinking that by clicking on this post you’re going to get all the details on how to lose some weight in order to be ‘beach body’ ready in time for summer to allow you to flaunt that bod around the seashores on your summer holidays without a care in the world.

*Side note: I’m jealous of whatever beach location you’re heading to this summer – my summer holiday is to the wonderful Costa Del Glasgow and not the shores of Ibiza.*

Every summer the panic begins. You stand under the unflattering lighting of the store fitting room, staring in disgust at your body. You think to yourself, “I need to tone up and lose weight before I can even consider going to the beach half naked.” Next, you start googling “Clean eating” and wiping the dust off that old gym membership you took out in January and haven’t used since. Then you pick apart all the flaws with your body whilst watching Love Island slumped down miserably with a bar of chocolate to make you feel better about the awful day you’ve just had. It’s a situation I know all too well.

I struggle with this every summer and then start beating myself up for being so silly because here’s the thing, your body is beach body ready 365 days of the year it’s your mind that isn’t. From a young age, I considered being beautiful with being thin, unsurprisingly, because that’s all the media has ever told me. “Lose 10 pounds and reveal your best you,” “This tea will shed the weight and make you ready for bikini season.” The messaging is everywhere and so damn hard to ignore.

Recently, I’ve been pretty self conscious of my body after stepping on the sad step (that’s the scales for anyone who doesn’t keep up with Joe Wicks) and realised I had gained over a stone in the last 6 months. My weight by no means is at risk to my health but I initially felt ugly and disgusting because of gains nonetheless. However, I realise that it was my mindset that was totally off. I had to sit down and remind myself that six months ago I was so miserable I didn’t even have the energy to eat; I was on anti-depressants that made me nauseous and I was always run down with spells of flu and tonsillitis. No wonder I was thin- unhealthily thin if you ask my mum. Nowadays, I’m much happier; no longer taking medication to even out my moods; training to be a yoga teacher and doing something I love every day and I’m in a happy and stable place so my enjoyment for food has (thankfully) returned once again. So of course I will have put the weight back on and it’s ok.

Things change in our day to day life and our weight will fluctuate alongside it and in order to have a healthy concept of body image we have to accept that. Don’t underestimate how hard it is- it’s a battle I’m constantly fighting with myself and I am by no means perfect at loving my body regardless of it’s shape.

But try and be confident in that bikini no matter what your size. Focus on the parts you do like, whether it is your hair or your eyes or your legs or your bum or your boobs. Focus on that bit and let the confidence shine through.

Go and work out because it makes you feel strong and empowered in your body, or eat healthily because it makes you feel amazing from the inside out. Don’t eat a specific way or do particular exercise just so you aren’t ashamed of your own body on the beach. Every body is different and we all have things that we would like to change but it’s the imperfections which make us unique from one another and allow us to stand out from our friends. If we all looked the same the world would be an incredibly boring place to live.

Get on that beach and flaunt what you’ve got. Your body is ready for the world to appreciate right now – not in two months or when you’ve shredded at the gym for weeks. Right this second! And don’t stand in the fitting room tearing yourself apart, order that swimwear online and try it on in the comfort of your own home where you can strut about listening to Beyonc√© releasing your inner Sasha Fierce- trust me it works a treat.

Until next time,

Xo