The first time I saw this image, I winced. I told myself that I really needed to start working out again and there was no way I was going to share this photo online. However, only a short while later, once I had let my ego stop controlling how I viewed myself, I laughed at how irrational I was being.
The body positivity movement is gaining huge traction across the world yet we’re still being sold a message by the media that we’re not good enough. I can’t wait for the day when a row of completely different women can stand together in an advertisement campaign and it’s not seen as ‘out the box’ or a publicity stunt. Quite frankly, there are so many young and inspiring women who I really wish had been around when I was growing up to show me what real, unfiltered beauty looks like. But, I was a child of the 90s, when models were starving themselves in order to get jobs in the industry and carbs were the enemy. Magazines were full of the same skinny looking blonde girls promoting weight loss diets to us and celebs were shamed on the covers of magazines for an ounce of cellulite or even the hint of a midriff.
No wonder loving my body is a battle every day. I promote body positivity online and in real life because I want little girls to grow up with a more natural idea of what beauty is. But, it’s hard. I get caught up in the negative self talk and struggle to see my own beauty sometimes. However, after working alongside a female empowerment coach- Bek Williams (Check out her Instagram @itsbekwilliams if you want to work with her) she is truly amazing. Bek gave me the tools in order to help with the negative self talk and appreciate my body for all it has to offer me every day.
Tip 1: Positive Affirmations
This isn’t as woo woo as it sounds. If we talk to ourselves negatively we begin to believe the words we are telling ourselves. I’ve been telling myself for years that my body isn’t good enough, it needs to be more toned and I won’t be lovable with this shape. I’ve told myself this story for so long its become exactly how I see myself. So, flip it. If I say kind words to myself every single day then eventually I’ll begin to realise it’s the truth. I began with “I am enough,” I wrote it on my mirror, set reminders on my phone, made these three words my lock screen so I was exposed to it over and over again throughout the day. And you know what, even after a week, I began to feel better about myself. Next we added in different affirmations which resonated with me and I work with these regularly to help block out the nasty voice inside me.
Tip 2: Talk to yourself like you would to your best friend
If your friend came to you calling herself “fat, ugly, unworthy and unlovable in her own body” I would hope that you wouldn’t tell her that she is and make her feel worse. If you do then maybe I’m not the blogger for you to be reading to be honest. So, why do you say these things to yourself? When you catch yourself saying unkind things to yourself STOP. Take a minute to either rephrase what you actually mean or don’t speak entirely. For example, you may say, “I’m so fat today,” when you actually mean “I’ve eaten loads of junk food today which has made me feel slow and sluggish.” Can you see how different those two things are? The first one is personally attacking your body, and the second is understanding that the food you’ve been eating is making you feel a little outta whack. But, it’s also OK to eat the cake and pizza by the way; remember everything in moderation.
Tip 3: Make working out fun and not a chore
I enjoy moving my body in different forms of exercise. However, I have had to learn when it is OK not to workout if I feel too tired to move. Work out with friends, try a new sport, go for a walk with your mum and put the world to right again. These are all forms of exercise. Don’t work out to a specific amount of time, sometimes I do a 25 minute workout and if I feel like I can do more I keep going. If I feel finished after the 25 minutes I stop for the day and accept that’s where my energy levels are at. Exercise is important for your health but when it begins feeling that it’s a chore and something you MUST DO you’re not engaging in a healthy relationship.
So, I’m trying to embrace my body exactly how it is. It’s never going to be ‘perfect’ but it gets up every day and goes to work and allows me to practice yoga or swing so high I can touch the tree branches when I’m on a swing with my best friend. My body is great just as it is and I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to treat her kindly and with grace. I hope this post has resonated with some and these simple steps can be as beneficial to you as they have been to me.
Until Next Time,